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Talk:Firestarter (1)/@comment-5483266-20150103222020/@comment-25598148-20150103235049
Im really sorry, I really wish I could help like you don't even know. Regarding the first piece, it breaks my heart really to hear all this. I mean, I can somewhat. I mean I don't...discuss this tons (though it's relevant here), but my older sister - the one I have problems with - has had diabetes since she was 8 years old, and to put that into perspective, she's 20 now...so yeah it's a bit to handle. Like people say, it's a condition where you can live a normal life if you take care of yourself, but she plain just doesn't. She's really different than a normal life is, for example, she's 20 and graduating the same year as me (this year) because moving to the group home she's been in for the past 3 years + adjustment naturally she lost a lot of school time. It really doesn't matter in the longrun that our relationship is strained tbh, like, it's traumatizing to see someone just about give up. I've never said this part especially before but the reason she was sent away 3 years ago was b/c well...she od'd on insulin to force herself into the hospital, several times. And well, that could of killed her...I mean, I hope it doesn't look like I'm trying to make this post about me, but rather helping through understanding and all (because I know how you hate it when ppl try to empathize and they just don't understand really) I mean, I know mental downward spirals pretty well - I prolly experience one just about everyday, give or take, but seeing someone, a family member, go down a physical downward spiral, is just...traumatic, because you're not a doctor; you can't fix it...all you can do is watch, really. It is just terrifying. I remember throughout the years, waking up in the middle of the night because her blood sugar was too low, and they had to find something or in other cases, just sick to the point where they were bringing her to the hospital in the middle of the night. it's just scary. And as time goes by, conditions just get worse and that's when the last time she lived with us happened - the od's. Sadly, through my sister , I have realized when people reach a certain point, especially with uncurable illnesses, they can just get to a point of just giving it a white flag and giving up to what would eventually be the inevitable. But this isn't meant to be, or end depressingly. Rather, it's to say, I truly, truly hope your mom makes a recovery, Annie. Becacause though my sister went through very extreme stuff, especially for just being teen at the times these things occured. As I said, it's been 3 years since she left and that's a lot of time and she's taken hold of her life and though we don't talk; not surprising, as we never got along as far as I can remember, it'll take more time than this...I can say she's gotten better and working to get out of the home she's been in and into the world though there's this medical handicap. Though, your mother isn't my sisters age and is clearly more matured, seasoned, and into the world, I think that if they've given up, it's important to stay positive for them, especially if they lack the capability to do that for themselves. We have no idea what the future holds, forever or for worse. And regarding the dad, I already hate your dad from what you've told me about him before, ngl. And I relate to the whole thing of horrible dads, but ofc everyone knows that. In terms of holding a grudge against him for violent past. I have to say, you're in the right. My dad is very violent. The big thing I've never forgave him for, nor will I ever because he's a cunt that will never apologize, change, or make amends, he was arrested for domestic violence like 4-5 years ago...because my mom was angry at him because it was a Friday- so naturally, he took both their paychecks and blew them at a casino (which mind you, paychecks are biweekly in Arizona, so it meant we had no money for 2 weeks). Like that's a pretty fucking legitimate reason to be angry if you ask me tbh...it's triggering for me and I remember it vividly because I was home, so that's all I'll say. Sure, since we moved home from Arizona, he hasn't hit any of us, and my sister hasn't hit me - which both were casual up to that point. And it's not something that just...goes by with time. Whether it's one time like for you, or frequent like for me...anyone who hits their child or family in anyway...or honestly ANYONE should be ashamed. Like honestly, this stuff, it's turned me into a hardcore pacifist, no joke. No abuse is ever trivial, and anyone who thinks so in any case needs to seriously educate themselves. Hurt is never a constest and I fucking hate when people try to make the pain someone endures trivial like by comparing western lives to those in Africa (like the saying "dying children in Africa, i'm not trying to be controversial, just saying ><) Like pain someone endures shouldn't be considered trivial just because other ppls pain/abuse/etc. is more prevalent. Pain, etc. is not a competition, everyone matters with it, and anyone who thinks any type of pain or abuse, etc. is trivial needs to fuck off, like seriously. And the threats...omg that gets me goin' as well. I KNOW my dad has not changed because the cunt (oh btw I'm sorry if this term offends anyone but it's my go-to term for my dad because "douche" or "bitch" simply...just doesn't do enough for me) still threatens to spank my brother, ALL THE TIME. Like, why is threatening to, and spanking still a thing, like I get that it's hot the same as straight out punching /slapping etc, as he used to do to us...but it's not any lesser punishment, so it shouldn't be looked at differently??its just as cruel and shitty to do to your kid, why is it so overlooked??like it makes me angry tbh. Omg I really gotta stop I could rant about him for hours. And you don't want me started on the emotional abuse omg...that's a much longer rant i don't even have enough energy to type (and ppl know when i rant i rant) To prevent myself from doing so, your dad sucks as well Annie. like i get it, if you ever need to rant I'm here, except I logged off kik a few days ago (where we usually talk) because I wanted to delete messages without going through the effort of removing them, so maybe I'll log back on soon if you still got rantin to do. but yeah i'm here for ya